The winds started to whip through last night, pulling the colorful dying leaves from their branches and littering the ground. This to me is the true reminder of the chance in seasons, when nature’s pattern syncs up to do it’s job and clear the trees for winter. It was also a reminder to me of all that we take for granted. This time last year this area was ravaged by Hurricane Sandy, nothing in comparison to what just struck the Philippines, but still a terrible experience and last night as I settled into bed with my electric fire place ‘burning’, I reflected on that.
This time last year I was still without power, cooking gluten free foods on a propane grill out in the cold. I was waiting on line for gas, and when I was able to make it to work in the city I was literally having law enforcement push me into the crowded train that were standing room only to return home from the city. I was running out of food, I was freezing, I was aching, and I was miserable yet fully aware of the reality that is the fickle yet beautiful world around me. I was never more connected to those around me, spending nights playing games by candle light, and I have tried my best to not let that escape me since.
I’ve been struggling again this year, but this time it’s an internal battle. The cold weather is taking a toll on my body because of fibromyalgia, and my lungs because of asthma. I am constantly aching, and longing to feel better. My stomach and brain are striving for warmer months that were filled with naturally gluten free foods from the farm my husband interned at, as well as from the charity I work with to give out food on Tuesday nights. It’s a struggle not to miss the variety of colorful goodies that I said one last goodbye to on Food Day on October 24th at a local college:
My mind craves the energy, and nutrients, of these foods. As one woman put it, “you can taste the color, and it’s simply perfect.” It is, fresh food really is perfect. Food is MADE to be this way, and it’s almost all GLUTEN FREE. But once you realize the amazing things that are grown locally and become comfortable with summer and early autumn’s bounty really the change of the reasons really leaves you reeling. I am eating terrible, and my mind is feeling tired and burnt out.
BUT, I realize this for once: I am not in need. I am not. Past years I would have wallowed in this pit for awhile, lamenting everything I’ve lost and cannot do, but it’s all about perspective. I live in a world where I can share my experiences with you online, supplement my noticeable nutritional deficits with doctor recommended vitamins (and even see a doctor to begin with), take my inhaler when my lungs seize up, and turn on my electric fire place to heat up my bedroom quickly. I am thankful for all of that, and so much more, yet we almost always take this in vain.
I may want, but I AM NOT IN NEED. Hopefully that change of perspective can help me re-sync with everything around me. Autumn and Winter also have so much to offer, I just need to seek it out and use it to my advantage. I mean look at the beauty in this alone:
