Back in January I posted the first episode of this series, in which I discussed the importance of remembering what is important to you on your wedding day beyond the gluten free food considerations. For our ‘entirely’ gluten free wedding (I say that because I think we are keeping beer and bread) Mike and I went the route of reception halls to save on stress, opting specifically for several who had gluten free experience and 1-2 events at a time who were not cooked at the same time. Our options came down to The Riviera and Westbury Manor. I will admit, we were simply torn. One is rustic and simple and the other is historic and elegant. Two things helped us make a decision:
1. Westbury Manor was willing to put our gluten free request on the our contract, while The Riviera was not.
The Riviera said that it may be unfair to our guests to do everything gluten free and while they would do it they wouldn’t want to put it on the contract so that they could have some wiggle room to offer non-gluten free items, Westbury Manor also told us to consider our guests, but they were a lot more friendly and willing to take on an adventure. They seemed more confident in gluten free food not being horrible, so you cannot go wrong with that.
and on a not so gluten free note,
2. Westbury Manor had a more inviting and accommodating in respect to their payment policy, which gave us more wiggle room with the existing funding.
So with that said, Our final decision was to hold it at Westbury Manor (WM). This is what it looks like!
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| Westbury Manor |
Now here comes the fun part…
So you’ve picked a Reception Hall, now who do you talk to, how do you talk to them and what do you need to do to ensure your day is gluten free-tastic?
As a Social Worker, and a Celiac, I feel the most important thing to getting help, encouragement, satisfaction, or people who will stand behind you is establishing a relationship and fostering it’s growth. There are several people at a reception hall that a gluten free bride and groom should be comfortable talking to and create a strong relationship with if they want their wedding to go off without a hitch.
The Event Coordinator
Who: Many Reception Halls have several event coordinators, who have the job of giving you tours of the site, answering your questions, arranging the contract and payment process, and helping you through the process until the day of the wedding. The event coordinator who oversees your wedding does not have to be the same person who helps you at the beginning, so take this into consideration.
Why: From the description above, it should be obvious why a relationship with this person is important. Firstly, They are the one who write up your contract. This is a key element to your wedding as it sets the precedence of how things will go, and outlines your special accommodations (hint hint gluten free). Secondly, although they may not be the same person who wrote your contract they are the one who will be overseeing your wedding. This means if they know your needs, and be open and accommodating.
How: For signing the contract, be specific and stay put on your desires. It is good to talk about the possible difficulties of such a request as a gluten free wedding but if that is what you want don’t let your Event Coordinator to convince you otherwise (although ours didn’t and if they do then maybe you need to choose someone else). To continue the relationship, be sure to stay in touch with your Event Coordinator once you choose them. Talk about your steps, have them connect you to other important people at the reception hall, and make sure they know that you appreciate them.
My suggestions: Make sure that the person you choose is someone who is accepting of your diet, or of your choice to have an entirely gluten free wedding. Also, having someone creative who also knows the other staff well is also helpful. The Event Coordinator we like has a great reputation at WM, and had some great suggestions as to changes we could make to make items gluten free.
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| WM Menu Photo, Courtesy of another bride’s followup. |
The Menu Planner
Who: Some reception halls may not have this position, but Westbury Manor has an extensive menu so to make choices run smoothly it is an important role. This person’s job, it seems, it so help you coordinate your menu from start to finish. They help you decide what would go well with what, what may need to be changed for your accommodation, and coordinates this info to the chef.
Why: Since they will be your middle man between the chef, and are familiar with the menu, this may be your most important person. They can tell you what is already gluten free, discuss any existing relationships with gluten free companies from which they may be able to purchase gluten free products, and much more. In addition, these are also the people who set up your tasting sessions before the wedding, and since you’ll be making changes you want to make sure .
How: Since you often do not meet with this person until later, it is important to get your face and needs known early. Ask your Event Coordinator to introduce you early, and maintain contact with them through out the process.
My suggestions: We you are introduced, which you should do early, explain your needs immediately. Ask the Menu Planner if it is easier for them to have you select items first, and then check if they are gluten free, or if it is easier to coordinate with the Chef so he can let you know what is gluten free or can be easily changes before you choose. This makes them know that you are willing to work with them, not that they are working for you (which is incredibly important since you are adding some added pressure). Also ask them if you can have more tasting sessions, which they will likely do. Finally, discuss your worries early, so that they can be resolved.
The Chef and Kitchen Staff
Who: This is obvious, these are the masters in the kitchen, the folks who will prepare your food and make it amazing.
Why: This is also obvious, they are the ones who hold the key to such things as: Preparing your food, dazzling you and your guests, helping you make a statement, and unfortunately potentially making you sick on your wedding day. Because food is a key piece to any social gathering these are all big areas to make sure you have in control, especially since you are making modifications to what people typically want. You want to make sure that the chef knows what you are looking for. Are you looking to eliminate all sauces to stay face, but leave things bland OR are you looking to make adjustments to thickeners so that you can have gluten free items that are equally as tasty? Discuss is all.
How: Have your Event Coordinator or Menu Planner introduce you early, and stress the importance to them that you know who will be handling your food. When you meet the Chef, be sure to let him know the ways you are willing to help work with him. For example, do the same things as you did above with the Menu Planner or offer to bring in some ingredients of your own to make their life easier. The most important thing to remember is that you are still the guest. This means that they are catering to you, BUT you need to also be thankful and helpful.
My suggestions: I cannot stress this enough, THANK THEM. Thanks them for meeting you, accommodating your needs, and being open to an adventure. If you’ve chosen a place that you’ve heard has amazing food, as well as good gluten free accommodation, say so and tell they you are looking forward to seeing what they have in mind for your day. For me, I also mentioned that I had a blog and relationships with gluten free companies. I told them that I would be sure to spread their name far and wide if the food came out good. Also, discuss your worries early and let them know that you are willing to help in any way. Most Chefs want to be known for their food, and with the growing gluten free need who wouldn’t want to be known for that?
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Overall, it is important that all of the above people are on the same page as you. In addition, although you may want to do an entirely gluten free menu it is important to take the needs of the reception hall staff as well as the pleasure of your guests into consideration. This means, for example, that it may be easier to keep the beer in stock (to please your guests) rather than request that the catering hall establish a new relationship with a gluten free beer company (to consider the needs of the reception hall staff). We are likely keeping bread and beer to make things easier, and more common place for our guests and staff.
This also means, as far as Mike and I are concerned, KEEP THINGS SIMPLE BUT DON’T IGNORE THE NEED FOR TASTE. Find that medium balance that works for you and the reception hall and make sure that your guests enjoy every minute of your gluten free feast! Mike and I actually attended a wedding at WM manor recently. We were delighted to see what was already gluten free, and delicious, and were thrilled with most of the wait staff’s ability to direct us to what was safe. The dinner items we got did not have sauces because they had no gluten free thickeners on site at this time but the food was still delicious. We feel we’ve made the right decision and cannot wait to start going through our menu to plan our own gluten free wedding food!
The above should give you a good bearing of how to get your gluten free wedding started out right as far as food is concerned. I will of course keep everyone posted as we move closer to picking, and adjusting, our menu items. In the mean time my next post will likely be taking us away from the reception hall arena and onto something fun and all yours: The Wedding Registry, an integral component to any newly started life!
Till next time, keep up the gluten free fun!
Celtic Celiac @ http://celtic-celiac.blogspot.com/
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Hi! I stumbled across your blog today and wanted to let you know that I am a Celiac as well and we just had a completely gluten free wedding in Winnipeg, Canada! It was not easy to find an understanding reception hall and a creative chef, but in the end, many people said it was one of the best wedding meals they had ever had. In fact, our whole meal was gluten free AND dairy free, including hors d’ouevres and the cake. Many people also went back for second pieces of cake and raved about it too! So it CAN be done! I applaud your efforts to help blaze the trail. Good luck!
Thanks! We are working on revising the menu with the chef right now, they have been good enough to work with us a few months in advance than they normally do. The only weakness seems to be in the hors d’ouevres area. Any suggestions?
Amazing post! I initially found your blog a week or so ago, and I want to subscribe to your RSS feed.
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Thank you James!